if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
