Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
