Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
