You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
