do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
