East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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