I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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