just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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