I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize