he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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