dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
