i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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