Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
