He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
