i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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