My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
