Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
