U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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