i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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