i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
