I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
