Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
id be glad to
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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