i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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