it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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