I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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