SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
