i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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