now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I wanna passion pit in your ass
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
