too bad you live with your parents still
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize