forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
