he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
