I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
