WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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