my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
false alarm, still single
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
