after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
