Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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