You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So. Much. Porn.
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