I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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