If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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