i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
