i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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