People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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