You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
