Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
