I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have feelings that need drinking.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
