What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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