You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
