my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
