I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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