Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Screwed.edu
I think im going to throw up on grandma
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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