Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize