he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
