he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
