I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
as a side note pls kill me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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