I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
