i just google imaged poop.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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