My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
