So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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