He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
