tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize