u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
