her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I AM VODKA MAN
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
